I like to mull and noodle on things. Sometimes this tips into creating misery for others. Maybe you have your own flavor of mulling. Maybe you wait for a fully baked plan before you communicate with your team. Maybe you’re sitting on something because you’re waiting to feel comfortable that the next steps are clear. Maybe you’re facing challenging new business constraints – a new reality – and you’re waiting to feel OK about telling your teammates that this thing they’ve been complaining about is actually a condition that isn’t going away anytime soon.
I like to think this mulling is well intentioned but a less rosy interpretation is that we’re prioritizing our own comfort over clarity for others.
This mulling has a big downside. While you’re busy finding the right words, your colleagues are filling in the gaps created by your silence. When we experience uncertainty or lack of control, we’re more likely to see patterns where there are none; we work to make meaning of our uncertainty even when the story we come up with is flawed or faulty. So, when there’s a rumored restructure going on but the new org chart hasn’t been shared, we might make up a story like, “the new org chart isn’t being shared with me because I’m not valued here.”
Even when people fill in the gaps with a story that’s close to the truth like, “with budget cuts, we’ll be working in a much leaner structure for the foreseeable future” …we’re now faced with a doubly hard leadership task – we have a difficult message to convey and we’re working from frayed trust.
For everyone out there who likes to sit with something until you’ve landed on the perfect words or plan, or until the message feels comfortable to you (it won’t), here are some steps to take to get to action –
Notice. Notice that you’re sitting on something and waiting to feel comfortable. What is the risk of waiting (trust of your team?) and what is the risk of sharing what you know now?
Start talking…to more than yourself. Name what you know. Be direct about what’s known now, what is likely to change and what is unlikely to change.
Talk about what you’re feeling. If this is uncomfortable, say that. If it makes you anxious to share something while you know that the plan or message will still evolve, say that.
Invite partnership. Activate voice and choice. Invite people to engage. Identify the places where you are asking for input, insights, ideas or feedback. Be specific about the decision-making roles people do and do not have (ex: I’ll make the final decision and I’m looking to you for a recommendation).
If you’re waiting for the perfect moment, that moment isn’t coming. Prioritize clarity for your team over your own comfort. It’s ok to say to yourself, “I’ll just have to do this scared.”
Shifting gears here. Elsewhere in my life I’m listening to this new podcast even though I’m not usually much for the true crime genre. I’m also finding the concept of enchantment as an antidote to burnout absolutely captivating.
What can you choose to do scared this week?
– KBD